The holidays can bring a set of mixed emotions. There is often a self-imposed anticipation for calm and connection, yet many of us end up finding ourselves stressed and on our devices more than usual. Between all the photo dumps, highlight reels, and year-in-review posts, the holidays can end up feeling more like a season of comparisons than one of joy and gratitude.
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As a psychiatrist who works with high-performing individuals, from professional athletes to executives and their families, I directly see the negative impact that digital habits can have on mood, sleep, and relationships. To better well-being and mood, the holidays need to be a time of mindfulness and presence. Yet our devices can steal that from us. It’s far too easy to spend hours doom-scrolling through negative headlines in the news, comparing family traditions, and seeking online validation.
Protecting our mental health this season doesn’t mean we have to undertake a total digital detox. Instead, we can practice strategic unplugging. These intentional pauses result in more engagement in the present moment, as well as a feeling of calm without the sense of being cut off from the world. The best way to think about this is like a performance plan for your mind.
Recognize the holiday scroll trap
The holidays tend to be a season that brings more downtime and more social media use. This all too often means that people are comparing themselves to what their friends and people they follow are doing. Whose holiday season is more glamourous? How many likes will you get on your social media post?
It’s important to develop self-awareness that you may be experiencing some of these thoughts. After all, holiday scrolling has a certain flavor: a blend of joy with envy or guilt. Why compare your behind the scenes life to other’s curated posts that make it to social media?
The first step to overcoming these thoughts and feelings is identifying this cognitive distortion. Naming the comparison trap is a necessary step to escaping it. You’re in control of feeling like you’re doing the holiday season the right way. And that looks different for everyone.
Create a digital boundary plan
There’s no need for a rigid “no social media” policy during the holidays to feel better. Consider these three factors when creating a digital boundary plan that feels right for you.
Time Windows: Intentionally select specific windows of time during the day for social media use. If you know your mood tends to be more anxious in the evenings, plan social media use earlier in the day. Then set a timer. Research shows that boundaries are most effective when paired with existing habits, so perhaps anchor your timed social media use window with existing routines or behaviors.
Notification Hygiene: Audit your notification settings and turn off all nonessential alerts. Continuous notifications and phone vibrations throughout the day keep your body in a state of stress. Consider disabling badge notifications for social media apps so you can intentionally engage in social media during your planned windows.
Nightly Reset: Try to spend the last 30 minutes of your day away from screens. Maybe replace bedtime doomscrolling with gratitude journaling, meditation, or talking with your family about the day. This brief time away from screens allows you to decompress, engage the parasympathetic nervous system (rest and reset), and ultimately helps you disengage from digital clutter.
Model digital wellness at home
As a child and adolescent psychiatrist, parents will often ask me how to help limit screen time during school breaks and the holidays without it turning into a high-conflict situation at home. The key is to role model the behavior that you’re expecting your children to follow.
Instead of banning devices altogether, you can focus on family values by acknowledging a desire to all be present for meal times, and model that behavior by silencing your phone and turning it face down.
Redefine what matters
It’s easy to get distracted by the gifts, gatherings, and big moments during the holidays. But the real fulfillment comes from connection, not validation. When you declutter from the digital noise, you give your brain the space to be mindful and recognize small, meaningful moments. Refocusing on experiences rather than social media posts can recalibrate your feelings of joy.
Consider your reentry
As the holiday season ends, take some time to reflect on how it felt to be intentionally unplugged. Were you more rested? More present? Less irritable? Consider the benefits of decreased social media consumption and determine which habits are worth carrying forward in the new year.
Reflect on the meaning of the holidays for you. It’s not about the likes and comments, but rather grounding ourselves in what real-life connection feels like. This year, give yourself permission to log off so you can lean in: to your people, your peace, and your life.
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